part two, the journey so far..

Alice's very first day of 4 year old kinder. So grown up and ready.

Well, so much for part two coming tomorrow..., but I've been feeling like a ship without a sail, asking complete strangers 'what should I do'?

Well, Dan spoke to a farmer in the Thora valley who grow organic garlic, and suddenly the light went on for Dan and he could 'see' himself growing food including garlic. He reminded me that before we had children we had wanted to grow organic garlic crops. I had totally forgotten.

I'm like, 'wait a minute, you have four children to support'. Are you serious?

He was.

Then I got a phone call on holidays to say that the board at the school had met, and after a long consideration have decided to let Flynn start school for class one. Unbelievable.

So we left Thora, Dan smiling from ear to ear, and me, feeling totally overwhelmed about it all.

When we got back to Castlemaine, there was a spring fair, and the love that I felt from all my friends was beautiful. we had been there 14 months, and I have made some wonderful friendships.

What to do?

I said to Dan, 'this is what we have being praying for, for Flynn to get in', we have worked so hard and made a life here, the children and I have beautiful friends. I fit in here. They are my people.

The stress of moving children is never ideal, and I was very aware that once is enough. But something shifted in Dan, and he said 'I've being in the family printing business since I was 15, and I'm nearly fifty, and I haven't looked up, I need to step out of Ballarat and see what else there is.

I said okay, let's look at Castlemaine, but for him, it wasn't far enough away from Ballarat and it was all to tempting to keep commuting for the security of income, which he has always had.

So we sat with this for a couple of months.

And I observed everything around me.

Castlemaine had been hard, but by my choices, living in two houses is crazy. Dan commuting everyday, not seeing much of the children wasn't great.

Castlemaine is dry in climate, thirsty place, like an oven in summer, but the winter is glorious, frosty mornings and crystal clear day's. Scrubby trees, not wonderful tall ones.

But the community is amazing, so much happens here, as much as a big city. And you feel apart of it all.

The big one= the school is a disapointment, there, I said it.
I haven't said anything till now because, you know, we moved our whole life so that the kids could go here. and it was nothing special.

I didn't see this when we went there for interviews, everybody always raves about this school,. But really, Jim said after the first week, there's nothing Steiner about this school, and he was right.
It's just a good private school with art and craft subjects.
Joseph had being struggling last year. He was spending most of his time in the library because his teacher Anne couldn't cope with him.
Yes, my invisible Joe.
First she said he was deaf, and to get him tested, of course his ears were fine, Joey said 'she never listen's to me"
hmmm
Next she said it's auditory processing, then the next month dyslexia
I had started losing my faith in this teacher.
First and foremost a Steiner teacher needs to observe the child with Goethe eye's, meaning purely, without any judgement.
If she had, she would have seen that Joseph is your best teacher, he reflects back to you what he feels. He is all feeling, he doesn't hear what you say, he just knows what your thinking.
But, Anne isn't a Steiner trained teacher, and after 20years of teaching there, has no intention on starting. Even mainstream education would see her as a traditional teacher.

Then one day,Dan and I experienced her coldness to us and our child, it felt like a knife through the heart. She did apologized the next week, but for me, that was an insight to how she treated my child, there was no heart, no understanding, just judgement.

One thing I've learn't in life is that you have to" walk the talk".

This did leave me feeling uneasy.

Joseph was getting worse, calling out at night, not eating breakfast, pale, limp not wanting to got to school. Developed a nervous cough.

We spoke to the child psychologist at the school and she said, Joseph was on his way to rejecting school, and that this was his only chance at having a Steiner school education. Her idea was for Joseph to say five times every morning, 'school is fun, school is fun'

But it isn't I said, he should be thriving.

It never sat well with me, this approach, he was feeling this way for a reason, and to ignore those feelings just isn't right.

What to do?, well the end of school was soon, and I decided to see what happens during the 6 week holidays.

Part three coming this week, promise!

first day of school

This day has been a long time coming. Flynn's first day of school.



Excitement mounting.



Can you pick my barometer child?

Grins from ear to ear.

You know, I haven't been in this space much, it's not that I had nothing to share, but I think when my stress levels rise, I retreat. But I do need to give you an update.

Last year, well the last two years, have been huge for us. We decided to send our children to another Steiner school, in search of a Steiner high school, which meant many sacifices, we had a school week house, and our home in ballarat on the weekends, you can read about it here.and here.

We had been patiently waiting for Flynn to get a spot in his year as it was full. This meant that he missed out on prep. At the time I thought this would be okay, as it is home based in it's routine.
But what I didn't think of is that Flynn needs to come everyday to drop the other kids off and pick up, he would see his friends and ask when it would be his turn.

Even though we did fun stuff like horseriding, bushwalking, campfires, crafting and cooking, he never understood why he was not embraced by the school as his siblings were. Flynn would try his best at writing and say "I'll take this in to the teachers so they can see I can write, then they will let me come to their school"

Heartbreaking, For me, this was not how a Steiner school should behave.

So, I wrote a letter to the college, and the response was the chance was remote, as there were other children before us, even though we already had children at the school.

So.......I happened to be reading a newsletter belonging to our old school, and saw an ad about a farmhouse in a valley on a river in a rainforest, in New South Wales, and so I rang, out of the blue. It turns out that the house is walking distance to a Steiner school, through the rainforest.

So then I rang the school, Chrysalis, Who would have thought that your life can change with just a phone call. The first question I asked was will you take all four children? I had to find a school that was open to us all.

So we went on a road trip, 1500km there, but it was fun, and we needed some fun:)

Thora valley is out of my dreams, I can't believe this place existed, and that I knew nothing about before.

I have always wished to live in a rainforest, on a gravel bottom river. And of late had been wishing that I could find a house close to the school to walk, maybe a farmhouse.

Can you believe it?

Well I had to convince Dan, he saw the road trip as a holiday, and indulged me with the idea of moving there. Well when I got there, as beautiful as it is, I realised how huge this idea was, and that I would have to sell my beautiful home, the one that I built with the thought of handing it on to our children. They would be the fourth generation on this land.

Could I let down my children? Be the one that it stops with, can I live with that?

part two coming tomorrow.....

Australia Day

It made me smile when I heard they were serving vegemite sandwiches and lamingtons in the commentry box at the cricket today.

I like my pavalova crunchy on the outside and meringue in the centre, this one is not too sweet.
Recipe: 6 egg whites at room temp.
pinch cream of tartar
1&3/4 cup of caster sugar
1 teas vanilla
2 teas white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon cornflour
Beat the egg white and cream of tartar till soft peaks, add caster sugar one tablespoon at a time it will be thick and glossy, and take about 10mins. Add vanilla, vinegar and cornflour, till just mixed. spoon out on to round baking tray lined with baking paper. about 30cm in diameter. Bake in slow oven 125-150c for a hour, turn off oven and leave door ajar for another 2 hours. Spead whipped cream over when cold, and decorate with whatever ever fruit you like, my kiddo's love passionfruit, strawberrys, mango, and raspberries.

Yum.

This song always makes a lump in the throat, I guess we all know someone which the song is singing about:

christmas day with the willett's

Miss alice, trying out her new scooter.



We alternate Christmas lunch each year between my family and Dan's, because of the distance. This year it was back home with my family.

Dan used to comment on how loud, overbearing, criticise and bring you back to earth,( like only your sisters can). But I think he has gotten used to it after 18years.

It can drive me crazy how polite, well mannered, only talk about the weather or footy, Dan's family can be. I usually throw a thought provoking sentence out there or talk about the latest conspiracy in the world, and watch them crawl under the table...



This is my mum, Shirley, I used to cringe at the thought of looking like my mum, but let's face it, we all start to look like our mum sooner or later.

And that's okay by me.

Young Joseph coming in for a quick ((hug)).

Joseph is eight

Eight times around the sun, Happy Birthday my sweet gentle boy.



Ten things you might not know about Joseph:

If he could paint himself invisible he would.

Knows instinctively what people are thinking.

Prefers people to think that he knows nothing about anything, he even has his teacher fooled.

Loves to paint

Loves to make

Loves a cup of tea,

Prefers the company of meercat and scruffy (kitten and dog)

Loves rice pudding, and stirring the other children.

Would love to own his own canoe,

needed two hours in the bath by himself after his birthday party, I'm guessing to reflect.

Looks like me

In the Weekly Times

Well, I forgot to mention that I now have a walk in shop, called Gathering, with two other lovely ladies, Lisa and Louise:)
We have a write up in the Weekly times, you can find it here.

Winter soltiste

The night was as still as can be, all the stars were twinkling in the night sky. There was much excitement in all the quietness.